Digging in deep, healing awareness
It is a beautiful process...this healing work. There are days that I find myself back in the trenches of my own healing, and in those times I find so much more information.
I knew in October of last year that I would be getting more memories to heal from my childhood. I was not looking forward to that! But I knew it needed to happen so that I could heal deeper, and gain the knowledge of how to better help others. It has been helping me heal issues in my body as well, which I knew would also happen.
When we heal cellular memory, and release...it frees our bodies of the toxins that those old wounds/pains create. I've been losing weight and feeling healthier in the places I wasn't just a few months ago.
It seems this 'funk', or 'space' I've been in lately not only has been helping get even deeper in my healing exploration, but it has also helped me see things with new awareness. Which means it helps me...and helps me to help others heal.
I told my husband at lunch that I am not always interested in new awareness! :) I have so much at times that I can see the shadowed nuances in 'everyday actions/language' and that makes me take longer to work through something since I need to find the words that don't hold a 'charge' in the negative. But...I'd rather have the awareness than not have it!
I find in this work, that I am using my voice without worry...but I am more aware of what I am saying...and why. Sometimes, it won't change a situation, and I get to decide if I want to 'waste' my energy in a direction, or find a better place to expend that energy. I've been finding better places. When I know a person, or situation won't change regardless of me...or when it will cause me to exhaust myself for a purpose that isn't in my best interest...I now can let go without needing to say/do anything.
I'm also tired of my story. I'm tired of it being such a part of my life. I love my story...I love how it connects, teaches, and helps others. I love how it has empowered me! But...it's time for it to shift. I don't want to only be known by that...I want more of my truth, my depth, and my beauty to shine. My story helped to make a lot of that...but it is only a story of me...it isn't the depth of me!
So...as I continue going deeper (I really didn't know there was MORE), I will continue to find new ways of sheltering, healing, and teaching. All of the flavors make this life one of the most beautiful experiences.
P.S. Please remind me of this when I dip back in. ;) It's definitely ebbing and flowing. I love my life!